Preface by reading Genesis 22:1-14
My body sinks, my heart bowed down,
My trembling hands ripping the grass
That cools my prostrate form—the ground
That’s now polluted as the last
Draughts of the Seder wine are changed
To tears and sweat. What terrors await
The faithful son? Am I deranged
To hope, to ask, to beg the fate
Of Isaac? Bound, and willing—no,
It’s just a test, and in the end
You’ll stay the murderous hand, You’ll show
The ram, the happy ending, send
The obedient servant home, and claim
The moral victory?! Is it
Still possible that threat of pain
From Roman cross and nails is yet
A subtle closing bid for blind,
Loving trust in You? I can’t
Restrain my fear that I will find
No ram—or worse, that I’ll recant
My love, disown your choice, and in
My exit curse the opening lines,
“Behold, it’s very good!” You’ve been
So sure: “All shall be well.” But mine’s
The choice now! Where’s the ram? Do You pass
The final word to me? You know
I love you. Yet I may not pass
The test! Shall ramless history show
That in the end the Firstborn fled
The altar, broke the bonds, despised
The sacrificial knife—instead
Of suffering torture, undisguised
Disdain, and laughter from the sons
Of Adam’s pride? Abba! Shall I
Have come this far to be undone
By fear? There is no ram! Your eye
Is fixed on something I can’t see
Because my mind sees only pain
And scourge and nail. Oh Abba! Be
My strength, for I have none! Now chain
Me to Your will! How weak I am!
I’ve always known there’d be a ram,
A breath of joy to Abraham—
Before he was, I am . . . the Ram.
The joy . . . the joy . . . a glimmer just
Beyond my sight—a Ram, a Lamb,
A sacrifice, but more, a thrust
Of my heart into Yours. I am
Not capable of this. But You,
You risked the world, the future—all
Because You felt that I would do
Your bidding, bleed, and cry, and fall
Not into death but into joy?!
And yet—how can I turn my face
From Abba’s confidence? “My boy
“Will come through this with strength and grace,
“For Daddy’s boy’s the image now
“And always of his Father’s strength!”
Not true. I have no strength—and how
I’ll access Yours, and go the length
And depth of pain, I do not know. . .
Yet now let it begin, Your heart in mine.
I can’t resist, if You’re so sure I’ll go!
Let’s go together, one step at a time.
I’m terrified—but yes, I’ll be your Ram,
Not trapped in thorns, but willing, now, a Lamb
Laid willing on the altar. Let them take me,
Abba. This I know—You won’t forsake me.